Tired Girl

Want to hear my horoscope for today?

I'm a cancer the crab!

You must make a decision, even if none of the options will bring you exactly what you want. Keep in mind that this isn't about taking the easy way out. Instead, realize that there are no simple choices that can quickly fix the complexities of your life.

Ha...LOL ...there are no simple choices that can quickly fix the complexities of my life....YA THINK?...that is a major spot on horoscope. I rather thought so.

Yesterday I met with a new plastic surgeon. Loved him! He took his time with me...showed me pictures and everything. SO you want to know the problem? He does not have privledges at the same hospital as my surgeon...(who I haven't spoken to in a week) and he is not on my health insurance as an "in Network provider".... Only two big walls to climb over.

So....I decided to let my breast surgeon go...and I promptly got another breast surgeons number...one that my new plastics guy recommended. And guess what...I have an appointment this morning...and they have already scheduled surgery for tuesday of the coming week. WOW..now that is fast. I am 29 days out from diagnosis, haven't spoken to my breast surgeon in a week, even after leaving numerous messages..etc. and I call this doctor and I am in thier office in a day, and they scheduled surgery already!

That my friends is progress...taking the bull by the horns...because I am so tired of no one doing anything. Oh another thing my breast surgeon, the first one.. has now lost my MRI pictures...no where to be found. The second set of films that her office has 'misplaced'. So I called my oncologists office to get a new set printed and have to drive basically 45 minutes to get there....but as they were printing my films...the machine jammed and therefore...no luck with those films..Hopefully sometime tomorrow we can get them. Amazing huh?

I went to my oncologist office yesterday and got my livestrong bracelet as well as my livestrong binder. This is all from Lance Armstrongs live strong foundation. They say that you are a cancer survivor from the minute that you are diagnosed with cancer...I like that! Well they had me pick out a little bottle that they cover with clay..they are called bottle's of hope...they are chemo bottles decorated with polymere clay designs...so so pretty. You can go to the office on the 3rd saturday of the month and decorate one for a patient. I am going to go to the June one with my little one and decorate a botte. She is so excited!

So today is the new breast surgeon...tomorrow another doctor..and then hopefully tuesday we can go and get the surgery!

I read a lot last night from my livestrong notebook...and I will write some of my thoughts down..as well about how i feel and how this journey is enfolding in my life..oh when I was reading last night a journal entry that is in the folder, one of the men who was battling cancer said..." I hear people say that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to them...he said He just wants to just punch someone in the face that says that." I thought that was funny....because I said that...maybe it will be the best thing that ever happened to me...in the way of helping others, understanding our own limitations, learning to ask for help, and learning to understand the complexities of relationships....not only with your family but friends, doctors, strangers, insurance companies, etc.

I took my little one to the doctor..her tummy has been bothering her...I think that it could be nerves..and I told the doctor what was going on with me and he didn't even look up from his computer screen..didn't even bat an eyelash..just grunted..not that I expected anything like "oh that's too bad.." but something more than a grunt would have been "polite" I would say.

Crazy world...beautiful world...scary world...it is what you make it...it's all in your mind!

love to all..

Stacy